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What you can't do in real life you can enjoy, vicariously, though the actions of the villain in whatever media you are consuming.
Thus, your metaphor for dragging her by the hair and forcing yourself upon her is an appealing scenario.
My first wife, when I tried to share fantasy play with her (the first woman I tried it with) was disgusted and would have none of it.
My second was disgusted and frightened but now gets off on being flogged while stretched out (but not tied) or in fantasizing while being masturbated.
Many of my partners over the years were never even aware of that part within me.
The image attached, for example, is a very powerful one--but the video from which it comes is not.
One of the keys, I believe, to healthy gimp is how necessary it is.
I don't think your characterization of us is entirely accurate; there may be aspects of it that could have a glimmer of truth, however.
I don't think your average GIMPer has been emasculated by his failed relationships with women, but I think all of us might relate to the rejection part.
I think I've mentioned this story a few times on the board.