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It’s known as the Reward Theory of Attraction – we are attracted to people whose presence or behavior makes us feel appreciated and liked.
When the feeling of pleasure at a person’s involvement in our lives outweighs the costs (someone who’s fun to hang around with but who causes problems through his behavior, for example) then we tend to be drawn towards that relationship over others.
Because of the pervasive belief that sperm is cheap and eggs are expensive – the idea that women grant sexual access only to those who offer the best “value” – they tend to focus on the most obvious aspects of what supposedly makes men attractive: looks and material wealth, with “status” following third.
It’s a vital part of the chemistry that helps ensure that not only will she enjoy the first date but that she’ll be interested in coming back for a second… The worst dates date just drains the life out of everyone involved.
Take bantering and antagonistic flirting, for example.
I enjoy bantering as a means of flirting because it meshes with my personality and it’s a method of screening for the type of women I am most attracted to.
They knew how to make people They were genuine interesting people with stories to share and a genuine interest in getting to know the people they talked to. I began to see just how integral being was to a successful dating life…
and I started to understand how to integrate it into my approach towards women.
My friend Miles – he who attracts women the way cheese attracts mice – was successful not just because he looked like the bastard son of Hugh Grant and Rob Lowe but because he knew how to be fun.