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I’ve seen so many opening lines, especially on dating sites, along the lines of Here’s the thing. You probably think that it’ll make fat girls more likely to contact you first, but honestly it’s hurting your cause more than anything. *(Note, saying things like ‘real women have curves’, ‘only dogs like bones’, ‘skinny girls are gross’ are horrible things to say. We’re real people with real personalities and feelings. Again, can’t speak for all fat girls, but lots of us have had a lot of bad experiences when it comes to dating.
It makes you sound like all you care about is our bodies, that’s the most important part to you. So during a first conversation, again, you don’t have to qualify why you’re talking to her. You are more than welcome to have your preferences, but putting down other body types or other people’s preferences is NOT okay. Men who’ll talk the good talk but won’t be seen with us in public, men who’ll have sex with us but make fun of fat girls to their friends, men who think we’re ‘desperate’ and ‘easy’ and just a quick lay. If you don’t think there are guys out there who like fat girls, you are so wrong.
You don’t have to state that you’re attracted to larger bodies. You talking to a fat girl, showing interest, says all we need to know, without words! And it doesn’t win you any points.) It may seem silly to mention, but it actually is important. There’s no special way you need to talk to them, no different procedure, here. That can be a real self-esteem killer for us, and it can make us gun shy. Just try to assure her that you’re attracted to what’s on the inside and the outside! I understand that it can be hard, you’re afraid of your friends or your family ragging on you for dating fat girls.
You wouldn’t message a thin girl and say ‘I think you’re hot, I’m really attracted to skinny girls’, would you? So we can tend to be a little leery when a guy professes interest. If you’ve managed to stick by rule number one, you might get a question like ‘So you don’t care that I’m fat? This might sound harsh, but you have no idea how many men expect some kind of reward for being attracted to fat girls. Maybe it’s not socially ‘in’ right now, but the fact of the matter is, PLENTY of guys like fat girls. But if you think that’s bad, try being the fat girlfriend.
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) weight is just something you shouldn’t mention to anyone in a first conversation, fat or thin. It makes us feel like you’re talking to us JUST for our body. You don’t need to have the username ‘bbwlover2012′, you don’t need to talk in your profile about how you’re looking for a fat girl, or how you define yourself as a chubby chaser*. As much as it may seem counterintuitive since I’m writing a whole post on how to date a fat girl, but a lot of this can be boiled down to this simple statement: date a fat girl the same way you’d date any other girl.Sometimes booths aren’t the best ideas at a restaurant. If she wants to call herself chunky, or curvy, or voluptuous, let her. And if you’re going to compliment her, don’t do it in a backhanded way. All girls are different, all girls want slightly different things. Amber Sarah is a twenty-something body positive, budding feminist blogger hailing from Massachusetts.There are probably things you haven’t thought about that she might be embarrassed about. There’s never going to be a one-size-fits-all list, especially when talking about such a large group of people! ) But overall it just comes down to being sensitive, perceptive, and attentive. Body image and fat activism are her lifeblood, and when she’s not slogging her way through school, she’s tackling tough questions about fat acceptance and myths about obesity at her blog, Adipose Activist.I mentioned that most of us have had bad experiences, being the ‘secret’ lover, not ever getting to meet a guy’s friends, and it’s really quite painfully true. There are lots of folks out there who hate fat people. But the truth is, fat is one of those defining features that can’t really be ignored.The fact that I have to add this piece of advice kind of makes me sad, but I feel it’s important. The vitriol some people have for others based purely on body size can be quite frightening. It’s not who a person is, but you can’t ignore it either.
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