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So, to keep myself afloat, and really just to pay for my dingy little one-bedroom Cupertino apartment, I started selling myself on e Bay." "I feel fairly ambivalent about the whole thing. For the first time in my life, all of my credit cards are paid off, my student loans are pretty much gone. I mean, we got kicked out of the Connecticut Better Business Bureau for Christ's sake. We are predicting a 300-400 percent jump in revenue next month alone with the onset of this new service.On the one hand, I do have an MBA from Dartmouth in business development. And, about three quarters of my clients are men, the remainder being these really fat and disgusting cyberchicks. I paid off my Passat and I just moved to a really nice place in Menlo Park. Sure, I know I am chugging cock for a living, but it beats sitting in an office ten hours a day waiting to get handed your walking papers." Clearly that is a matter of opinion. We feel comfortable in speculating that are stock will jump up to around the high twenties or low thirties by second quarter 2001.
They have not given up their profession, prostitution per say, but rather they have elected to embrace the new online frontier and are peddling their respective asses on E-Bay, as well as other auction sites such as [AMZN - NASDAQ] and Yahoo! ( AOL [AOL - NYSE] users keyword: Whore) "Man, it just makes sense, financial sense." Says an exuberant Ms. "Before on the street, some John would roll on up to you and want [Fellactio] and you be like, 'That gonna cost you fifty large.' Which is good money, but honey, shit, now I be like, 'Yo, I got a mean blowjob for sale. Usually, if I do a gangbang type of deal like that, even with twenty-five guys, I rarely make more than one or two grand.
"I am telling you, this is the biggest thing since used panties.
I can't really discuss the numbers, but we are talking thousands.
I got bitches in Los Angeles, Denver, Sao Paulo, Modesto, Myrtle Beach, Malaysia. Now, some other player has already got himself a date with Darlene. But you think that Darlene has got the sweetest pink there is, you know what I'm saying? However, we at feel it is an acceptable risk we are being forced to take by the competitive nature of the market.
For the sake of our shareholders, we simply have no other options." He continued, "Really, what I am thinking is that the Justice Department found Microsoft guilty of just about every crime listed in the anti-trust act, called them jerks, described Bill Gates as mix between Mussolini and a tall version of Napoleon, and finally ordered them broken into two companies, and it is still business as usual up in Redmond.