Question to ask when dating someone
Find out now, or forever hold your peace …"Ask about one of your deal-breakers," life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle.
When she says "one," she really means one: "You don't have to ask them all at the same time, but start with the most important one first," she says.
I have historically gone more in the direction of the first path, keeping things pretty light on a first date.
That being said, if you're the type to go there on a first spin with someone new, these queries are solid things to ask off the bat, and will certainly guarantee an interesting conversation.
"While some might argue this is early, I would argue that this lets you know what page each of you are on, and if they are likely going to be headed in a similar direction, at a pace you can live with." So find out if they're looking for something no-strings attached, or if they want a relationship, or what.
And be sure you feel they're being genuine."You want to make sure that you have your radar up to know if the answer that you are getting is authentic," she says.
And once you have your answer, think about whether it's an answer you like. "You are getting to know them, after all," Martinez says. If you need to know upfront, the first date is as good a time as any, she says.
But I asked a slew of relationship experts to each pick one serious question they'd advise you ask on your first date with someone to get a better idea of who they are, and compiled them into a succinct list of 11 ideas, from questions about deal-breakers to ones about what really makes them happy.
it won't seem too intense and you'll know if a second date is a good idea."If you find out that "yes, they want kids one day," she says, and you do too, at least you know you're on the same page."While it might seem taboo, you do want to ask the question, 'What are you looking for in a relationship?
'" Better Help telehealth counselor and psychologist Nikki Martinez tells Bustle.
You'll find out a lot more about your potential partner than you normally would, and you won't waste any time with small talk or vapid questions about work or the weather, and no one will be staring quietly into the guacamole. The best first-date question: "What is your relationship like with your parents?
" zen psychotherapist and neuromarketing strategist Michele Paiva tells Bustle.
'" Rob Alex, who created Sexy Challenges and Mission Date Night with his wife, tells Bustle.